My parents can't agree on who should be the donor. Could you believe??? They both feel very strongly that it should be them, and it should not be the other. My parents are so crazy. Now, ever since I got the call from my mother, I've had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing, just all of a sudden. I've been thinking about it alot. I've been talking to friends, and my sister about it, and my husband. Most of them don't really understand. Whats worse, they don't understand how I could be so ungrateful and unappreciative that I have two people so willing to give me a kidney. But thats just it...
I read a story from a woman who had her father donate a kidney to her in 1975. She said that every year he sent her a card on the anniversary of the day he gave her a kidney. He said that he was lucky to be able to give birth to her twice.
You know the feeling that you have when you have a bill that needs to be paid, and you dont have the money for it? And every month goes by, and every time you get paid its on your mind that you STILL have that bill to pay? Or if you're in school, and you always, always have some homework assignment to be done. So whenever you're not doing homework, you feel like you need TO BE doing homework?
How can you ever repay the debt of a better life? How can you live knowing that you'll always owe? It seems to me that when people are so willing to donate, they are saying "Look how much I love you. I love you so much, look what I'm going to do for you." To have both my parents arguing, virtually competing for a chance to do this big thing for me, its terrifying.
I almost wish I could get a donor who I know is willing to do this simply because its necessary, not as a grand gesture. Now that the process is started, I don't want it to be either of my parents to tell the truth.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
And we're off
So after I saw my doctor, I made the appointment for November 28 to have the HLA tissue typing done. We spent the whole day there, and then the following friday, which was Dec 7, I got a call from my mother to say she had gotten a call from the clinic to say that both she and my father were a match. She was a 5 point match out of 6, and my father was a four point match.
The coordinator explained to us during the class that these days anyone who is between a 1 and 5 point match can be a potential donor. Its the same difference between 1 and 5, the kidney will last the same legnth of years. For two people that are a 6 point match, the kidney has the potential to last much longer.
My mothers call kind of creeped me out. My mother and I are kind of close, but not in a real affectionate kind of way I guess. I don't know if that makes sense, but lets just quickly say that every year for my birthday I get to hear the story of how she almost died giving birth to me. How the doctors had told her she should have an abortion at 7 months, and she refused and made arrangements for my older brother and sister's care. Her phone call to tell me she "had news" kind of creeped my out in a way that I couldn't explain without sounding like an ungrateful jerk. It was that she was so enthusiastic, almost overly enthusiatic - excited I guess.
Anyway, the next phase now will be to decide who goes to the next round of testing.
The coordinator explained to us during the class that these days anyone who is between a 1 and 5 point match can be a potential donor. Its the same difference between 1 and 5, the kidney will last the same legnth of years. For two people that are a 6 point match, the kidney has the potential to last much longer.
My mothers call kind of creeped me out. My mother and I are kind of close, but not in a real affectionate kind of way I guess. I don't know if that makes sense, but lets just quickly say that every year for my birthday I get to hear the story of how she almost died giving birth to me. How the doctors had told her she should have an abortion at 7 months, and she refused and made arrangements for my older brother and sister's care. Her phone call to tell me she "had news" kind of creeped my out in a way that I couldn't explain without sounding like an ungrateful jerk. It was that she was so enthusiastic, almost overly enthusiatic - excited I guess.
Anyway, the next phase now will be to decide who goes to the next round of testing.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Long Time no blog
It's been a while, but its been a busy couple of months. I think I've picked the agency we want to move forward with adoption with, and I've gotten an ok to begin the transplant process from my nephrologist.
Since the transplant part is whats fresh in my mind right now, I'll save the adoption stuff for the next post.
I had an appointment with my nephrologist on November 19. We didn't get to go over my lab test results because Labcorp sucks and never gets her the tests before I get there. But we discussed my blood pressure which had not been under control for months and I asked her where I needed to be to get to eligibility for a transplant. She said that she was planning on asking me about that in January, but that there was no reason to wait until I had kidney failure. Watching my kidneys deteriorate has been like watching water boil. Its been slow going, although lately its been picking up. My last creatinine level was 3.8.
She said that my parents were the best choice as candidates, because in theory, whatever it was that made me sick in the first place hasn't been cured. And in theory, there is a possibility that whatever I had, maybe my siblings have too, just not showing it, or maybe it doesn't effect them. Plus, a transplant lasts like 20 years, so in 20 years maybe my parents won't be around, and I'll need to have my siblings to turn to then for another transplant.
So I went to both my parents and we called into register at the transplant clinic, and made an appointment to come down for match testing.
What did the initial testing consist of? Basically, we went in, and they took a shit load of blood from me, I mean a big butt load, like 16 viles. They gave my parents physical exams and took some of their blood as well. We had a presentation/class with the transplant coordinator to go over what to expect, what our options were, and to have any questions answered. That was like an hour My father decided to pick this time to doze off, even though we were at a round table with only about 5 other people. I told my mother to kick him, but her legs were too short. So, after that, I went to meet who I think was the transplant doctor. Dr. Lee. He asked me mad questions and gave me a quick look over. Blood pressure (it was 170/100 at first, and then dropped to 140/90 like 20 seconds later), checked for swelling, and my breathing. Thats pretty much it. The whole thing went from 10:30 to 4. I couldn't believe that we had spent the entire day there. From that point we just had to wait and see who was a match and what not.
Since the transplant part is whats fresh in my mind right now, I'll save the adoption stuff for the next post.
I had an appointment with my nephrologist on November 19. We didn't get to go over my lab test results because Labcorp sucks and never gets her the tests before I get there. But we discussed my blood pressure which had not been under control for months and I asked her where I needed to be to get to eligibility for a transplant. She said that she was planning on asking me about that in January, but that there was no reason to wait until I had kidney failure. Watching my kidneys deteriorate has been like watching water boil. Its been slow going, although lately its been picking up. My last creatinine level was 3.8.
She said that my parents were the best choice as candidates, because in theory, whatever it was that made me sick in the first place hasn't been cured. And in theory, there is a possibility that whatever I had, maybe my siblings have too, just not showing it, or maybe it doesn't effect them. Plus, a transplant lasts like 20 years, so in 20 years maybe my parents won't be around, and I'll need to have my siblings to turn to then for another transplant.
So I went to both my parents and we called into register at the transplant clinic, and made an appointment to come down for match testing.
What did the initial testing consist of? Basically, we went in, and they took a shit load of blood from me, I mean a big butt load, like 16 viles. They gave my parents physical exams and took some of their blood as well. We had a presentation/class with the transplant coordinator to go over what to expect, what our options were, and to have any questions answered. That was like an hour My father decided to pick this time to doze off, even though we were at a round table with only about 5 other people. I told my mother to kick him, but her legs were too short. So, after that, I went to meet who I think was the transplant doctor. Dr. Lee. He asked me mad questions and gave me a quick look over. Blood pressure (it was 170/100 at first, and then dropped to 140/90 like 20 seconds later), checked for swelling, and my breathing. Thats pretty much it. The whole thing went from 10:30 to 4. I couldn't believe that we had spent the entire day there. From that point we just had to wait and see who was a match and what not.
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